Tuesday, May 30, 2006

You Just Know

I hated that phrase. My dad used it when I asked advice about identifying your soul-mate and future spouse. He would give some supporting detail from his own experiences but they were too specific to his life. There was nothing tangible I could glean from his words unless my future spouse was just like his and unless we met the exact same way. Not likely, nor did I want it to be.

What frustrated me more was this line:

“If you even have to ask me…it means that you don’t know. And if you don’t know, then she is not the one.”

My fury was due to his dead-on accuracy. I was always dating someone at the time that I “thought” might be for me but I was unsure, uncertain, and confused. I had two very long relationships spanning a total of 7 years combined. Neither relationship led to matrimony but both had their lessons, their good times and bad. Marriage was discussed. You cannot be with someone that long and not have the subject come up. In most cases, I would even agree that the future likely held that as possible but neither of us ever pushed an engagement or specific plans.

So when I was minding my own business one day at the restaurant, I found it very strange when the little red crab from Little Mermaid sat on my shoulder and started singing.

“There you see her. Sitting there across the way. She don’t got-a-lot to say but there is something about her…”

After knocking him off my shoulder and awakening from my daydream, I took another look. Another song entered my head. You know the one from Ferris Bueler. It’s hard to type but it goes…

Oooo Bom, bom. Chi, chick, chickity kah! (Wash, Rinse, Repeat)

She had come to the restaurant with my friends from church. An apparent guest of one of our regulars, I just couldn’t avert my gaze. I made it a point to finish my managerial duties so that I could join their table and do some massive flirting. She must have known that the pursuit was closing in because she walked out the door just as I rounded the corner to turn on my charm.

Foiled but not beaten, I asked about her and got the lowdown. She was single and looking for a good, Christian man. In lieu of that, I was hoping she might make an exception and go out with me. Summer vacation, and several meetings later, I finally got up the nerve to ask her out.

Turned out that God had this girl right under my nose for years and years.

  • Went to the same high school
  • Went to the same college
  • Had at least 5 mutual friends
  • Worked at the same Tom Thumb
  • Lived blocks away from each other
  • She visited my youth group twice
  • Not to mention potentially crossing her path throughout the Dallas area multiple times in multiple places.

It kind of makes me wonder if I could have met her earlier, had I relied on God for guidance? Had I pursued His Will over mine sooner? Had I made myself worthy of her before meeting my long term girlfriends?

Our entire relationship has been amazing. From day one to today, we are the best of friends and madly in love. It only took 7 months for me to propose and 13 more months to wed. My Wife and I are soul-mates! Sorry to perpetuate the frustration but dad was right...you just know.


Brent Dix said...

Really good post. Met my wife on a blind date 21 years ago and "just knew" We married 8 months later and have traveled around the world and are raisng some great kids together. God truly knows what He is doing.

Thanks, Brent