Tuesday, May 30, 2006

You Just Know

I hated that phrase. My dad used it when I asked advice about identifying your soul-mate and future spouse. He would give some supporting detail from his own experiences but they were too specific to his life. There was nothing tangible I could glean from his words unless my future spouse was just like his and unless we met the exact same way. Not likely, nor did I want it to be.

What frustrated me more was this line:

“If you even have to ask me…it means that you don’t know. And if you don’t know, then she is not the one.”

My fury was due to his dead-on accuracy. I was always dating someone at the time that I “thought” might be for me but I was unsure, uncertain, and confused. I had two very long relationships spanning a total of 7 years combined. Neither relationship led to matrimony but both had their lessons, their good times and bad. Marriage was discussed. You cannot be with someone that long and not have the subject come up. In most cases, I would even agree that the future likely held that as possible but neither of us ever pushed an engagement or specific plans.

So when I was minding my own business one day at the restaurant, I found it very strange when the little red crab from Little Mermaid sat on my shoulder and started singing.

“There you see her. Sitting there across the way. She don’t got-a-lot to say but there is something about her…”

After knocking him off my shoulder and awakening from my daydream, I took another look. Another song entered my head. You know the one from Ferris Bueler. It’s hard to type but it goes…

Oooo Bom, bom. Chi, chick, chickity kah! (Wash, Rinse, Repeat)

She had come to the restaurant with my friends from church. An apparent guest of one of our regulars, I just couldn’t avert my gaze. I made it a point to finish my managerial duties so that I could join their table and do some massive flirting. She must have known that the pursuit was closing in because she walked out the door just as I rounded the corner to turn on my charm.

Foiled but not beaten, I asked about her and got the lowdown. She was single and looking for a good, Christian man. In lieu of that, I was hoping she might make an exception and go out with me. Summer vacation, and several meetings later, I finally got up the nerve to ask her out.

Turned out that God had this girl right under my nose for years and years.

  • Went to the same high school
  • Went to the same college
  • Had at least 5 mutual friends
  • Worked at the same Tom Thumb
  • Lived blocks away from each other
  • She visited my youth group twice
  • Not to mention potentially crossing her path throughout the Dallas area multiple times in multiple places.

It kind of makes me wonder if I could have met her earlier, had I relied on God for guidance? Had I pursued His Will over mine sooner? Had I made myself worthy of her before meeting my long term girlfriends?

Our entire relationship has been amazing. From day one to today, we are the best of friends and madly in love. It only took 7 months for me to propose and 13 more months to wed. My Wife and I are soul-mates! Sorry to perpetuate the frustration but dad was right...you just know.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Developing the Gift

Since I often reference my super powers in my various posts, I though it might be prudent to give you a few examples of how these began to manifest in my childhood. I now have full control of my gifts and have honed them such that invincibility is without question. But as my skills were developing, I was often prone to mistake and weakness. In fact, I did not fully realize that I was different or powerful until becoming a young adult. The signs were all there…I just didn’t see it at the time.

Bike Stealers – Being creative kids, we came up with the name “Bike Stealers” to describe a gang of kids that went around our neighborhood…you guessed it, stealing bikes. I had fallen prey to their efforts shortly after getting a bright orange, Team Murray bicycle, outfitted with pegs, gel grips, and MAG wheels. I had only enjoyed this beautiful steed for a week or two before this gang of hoodlums stole it off our lawn. We were terrified of these kids as they were older, gruff, and street smart. We were just suburbanite children who were victim to their tortures and legend.

On one particular day in the summer, my brother and I were at a local park about five miles from our home. We rode bikes as was the normal transportation of two youngsters and settled in on the swing set. We began pumping our little legs and having a contest to see who could swing the highest. Before long we were both sailing into the sky, testing the very limit of the chains holding us in place. Then it happened. Just over the horizon, the Bike Stealers approached. There were at least 6 guys but in my mind it looked like 60. I immediately took inventory and scanned the ground for our bikes. Mine was right next to the swings but my brother had left his 100 yards away for some reason. MB and I overheard one of the gang yell, “hey, lets get that kids bike!” MB immediately knew they were targeting his vehicle and began crying with horror.

Something in me clicked. Time stopped while I was on an upstroke of the swing. I let loose of the chains and sailed through the air, defying gravity. I landed, rolled and took off into an immediate sprint toward MB’s bike. Like a cowboy mounting his horse, I jumped into the saddle and started pedaling like there was no tomorrow. The Bike Steelers chased me for a bit but were so overwhelmed by my efforts to keep them at bay, they gave up. It must have been quite the sight to see me on MB’s bike since it was meant for someone half my size. I made it back to the swing set where MB and I decided we had enough adventure for the day and returned home. To this day MB recounts that story in amazement over my feat. At the time I didn’t think much of it but my powers were obviously beginning to emerge.

Saving a Life – The childhood events where my gifts were used somehow gravitated toward the involvement of my brother. Not all of them mind you but a decent majority. I guess that makes sense because we palled around together all of the time and as the big brother, it was my duty to be his protector. This particular event still haunts me to this day but I will recount it for you all the same.

On one of many family road trips, we stopped off at MacDonalds for a Happy Meal. MB and I finished our Nuggets and were busy sucking down our cokes. MB’s straw made that gurgling sound signifying the end of his delicious treat, so he popped the lid off and began crunching on the ice. This particular ice was very large and round…resembling a flying saucer. In a matter of minutes MB turned his head toward me and had widened his eyes like I had never seen before. Using my powers of mind reading, I immediately knew he was choking. You laugh at this claim but need to understand, he was not making a peep. None of the normal coughing sounds, no gestures toward his neck, nothing. Just a wide-eyed stare. Time always stops when my powers activate and this was no different. I ripped my seat belt off and dove for his belt release. Clicking him out, I then used my super human strength and pulled him up and into my lap. Having only seen a video once about the Heimlich maneuver, my mind used its ability for instant recall and my body followed suit with several double fisted heaves into MB’s stomach. My folks were completely baffled as to what the commotion was about and just thought one of us had gotten car sick. Dad, in classic dad-style, pulled over slamming on his brakes. He then opened MB’s door having assessed the problem was with him, not me. Thinking MB was puking, he took him off of my lap and put him outside (presumably to save the interior from the mess). Once dad realized nothing of the sort was happening, I yelled, “Heimlich dad, Heimlich.” My dad gave MB a couple good heaves and the ice cleared. Not having complete control of my powers yet…my body, mind, and emotions became overwhelmed. Even though I knew the tragedy had been averted, I bawled uncontrollably for the next hour.

Southfield – I reference this school in an earlier post. If you read it, you know that I spent a horrifying two years of Elementary with very mean-spirited rich kids. All that aside, I had one thing going for me and that was my athletic prowess. The very children who loved torturing me, befriended me for those few precious moments of recess each day as teams were being picked. Once per year we had something called Field Day. It was like a track and field event where all the children participate in High Jump, Races, Dodge Ball, Long Jump, Tug of War, etc. Grades 1 through 5 were divided onto either team blue or team red. For each blue ribbon that was won 5 points were allotted to that persons team. For 2nd place 3 points and 3rd place 1 point. The goal was to not only earn as many ribbons for yourself as possible but to also help your team win.

All events were over and the tally showed an even tie for team blue and red. It all came down to one event…Dodge-ball. The last man standing would win the extra point needed for their team to be dubbed Field Day Champs. As is customary the rubber balls were placed in the middle of the field and on the whistle we sprinted for our weapons and began hurling them. This entire game was like the battlefield in Braveheart. Soldiers down to your left and right. Screams of courage and of pain. Projectiles whizzing by your head, just missing their intended target. Absolute chaos. Child after child were eliminated and asked to leave the field until two were left standing. It reminded me of the old western shootouts as I stood there eyeing my athletic equal, Clint Madison. I swore I heard a whistle and saw a tumble weed blow by. I had three red dodge-balls surrounding me but none in hand. Clint had a smirk and determined look on his face, taking a moment to catch his breath and plan out his next move. I stood still, not daring to reach for a ball as Clint had one ready to launch. Any shift of my focus onto something other than him and he would surely strike me with deadly aim.

We were at an impasse, a standstill. I was not going to make a move and he knew it. The pressure of the surrounding crowd must have been too much for Clint because he finally gave in and made his mistake. He sprinted toward the midline in order to get as close to me as possible and hurled his rubber bullet with as much strength and velocity possible. His aim was off and the bullet started to stray to my left. I could have just taken this opportunity to grab a weapon and return fire while he was running for safety but no. My powers clicked into gear, time slowed, and I lurched into the air toward the ball. I sailed several feet, again defying the laws of gravity and reached out as far as I could, stretching my fingertips to their limit. Contact. The ball was in my grasp but in danger of slipping through my grip having been hurled so fast. But no, my super strength and sticky grip allowed for a clean catch and acrobatic roll. I was back on my feet with red ball in hand. The Blue Team surrounded me and began cheering wildly. We had won Field Day!

I really try to be humble about all of this whether you believe it or not. I have now come to realize that these powers are unique and come with great responsibility. I use them to fight crime, pursue justice, and make life a bit better for mankind. I only hope my efforts make a difference, small though they may be.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Finding Common Ground

The Beginning

We are all working from the broken template. Born into sin, we grasp only to our own experiences, our life journey, and our spiritual growth for landmarks. As such, we tend to preach from where we are. As a younger man and supposed ‘Independent’ (both politically and religiously) I held my arms wide open and welcomed all. I could not imagine an exclusive God and was convinced that all were worthy of approaching the throne. Methodists, Mormons, Islamic, Buddhists, and even the Unbeliever had equal opportunity if they were good people.

I worshiped the god of Political Correctness. I dared not have a belief that was seemingly intolerant or distasteful. Christ was important but I was never quite sure of His place in the grand scheme of things. I mean, He was my Salvation but who was to say He had to be the path for all? It was as though I used Him as an insurance policy. I knew enough to know I needed Him but not enough to proclaim Him to others. Not enough to take a stand and share the gospel. Not enough to get out of the boat and walk on water.

Through it all, I continued a practice that ultimately led me to searching...praying for God’s Will and for His guidance. Searching led me to literature of all kinds. Though I had my hands on many different cultures and religions, including New Age materials, the Holy Spirit guided me. And faced with all of these choices, somehow it was easy to identify the truth. I especially knew something was worth paying attention to if it convicted me. That is the thing about honest truth…it doesn’t discern or adjust itself to fit your wishes, to save your feelings, or to make you feel comfortable. That doesn’t mean that all truth hurts but it certainly can. My old ways of thought were very liberal and the last thing that I would accept is a doctrine or rule possibly being hurtful.

The Change

Within the last 7 years I have traveled so far away from my former beliefs that it is hard to remember them. I gained understanding about Christ and His true significance. I came to understand that Bible was not a suggestion but God’s Word delivered to us. Even where I was convicted of sin, I began making changes instead of excuses and justifications. I had to ask myself questions like: Was I willing to totally submit to God’s Will even if it contradicted my will? And if it contradicted worldly views? Political correctness? And if it made me a possible target for anger and finger pointing? The answers were a solemn yes but for my personality this was harder a task than it seemed. I am a pleaser. I make an art form out of relationships and creating harmony with all. I can get the meanest and most difficult people to open up and let loose.

I cannot actually call my experiences since then, true suffering for Christ. However, I remind myself that Scripture warns of hostility and confrontation when standing for Jesus. I became very exacting and unapologetic. I am on a mission and I have truth and the Son of God behind me. Righteousness, thy name is Edge.

As such, my newfound awakenings and realizations prompted me to share my discovery with those still lost, as I once was. As usual, my intentions and heart were pure. The reality was I tinkered with the line of legalism. I skirted the edge of hypocrisy and ‘holier than thou’ behavior. I found myself holding stones and taking aim at the adulterous woman. Just as Christ stepped in 2000 years ago, He convicted me as well.

What Now?

To proclaim I have now arrived at a place of perfect understanding would be false. I am just at the next place on my journey and have hopefully continued gaining wisdom. My newest mantra is to barrow from both camps to some degree. As a bleeding heart, wimpy Christian I was ineffective to lead others to the truth…having no understanding of it myself. As a die-hard, overzealous Christian I turned people off to the truth by my harsh display of convictions. The only way to attract people to you is to find the middle ground. I do not suggest compromising beliefs but rather your pride. Do you have to be right in order to win one for the Kingdom? If you are faced with being right or having someone come to the Lord…which would you choose? At some point we lose focus of whose representative we are and the game becomes more about my intellect vs. yours.

I still cannot stand the whiny, wimpy liberal approach to Christianity. Christ was not a weakling, hippy that spread seeds of love throughout the land whilst skipping and singing songs. He was a tough, chiseled, carpenter that loved, rebuked, taught, convicted, demanded, and sacrificed.

I no longer can advocate the opposite approach either. To represent Christ as Rambo is just as false. There is a place for emotional response in Christianity. There is a place for tenderness and love. There is a place for common ground. The challenge is getting to that place. I am looking for it and hope to see you there.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Attack

Ever read This Present Darkness or Piercing the Darkness? I have and they are compelling. I try not to focus on evil. As such, imagery of demons and Satan rarely enter my imagination. Not because I refuse to face a broken world filled with such things but mostly because it’s depressing. Conversely Angels are quite appealing. But I am careful not to get obsessive about these beings as they are not to be worshiped in any fashion. With these items prefaced, I will get to the point. I believe the narratives that Frank Peretti details in these two works of fiction are much more close to the truth than we would like to think.

For those unfamiliar with these particular works, they detail a true spiritual attack on individuals and towns. Peretti tells the story from two points of view; that of our normal, human perspective and that of Angels vs. Demons. Scary, yet fascinating to mull over isn’t it? It adds a new dynamic to the old devil on one shoulder, angel on the other imagery. There are literal battles taking place unseen to the naked eye for your eternal soul. The evil forces usually have an agenda in these stories that serve a greater scheme than to just torture you but they are not beyond taking time out of their day to do just that.

I do not think real possession can take place with believers. And possession in general is pretty debatable in modern circles but Biblical if you do some research. What I do think happens more often though is actual, spiritual attack. If I fail to describe my experience with Anxiety in more elaborate terms that is the best way to define it…Spiritual Attack.

It’s midnight and I am fast asleep. Not necessarily in the deep, dreamy world yet but unconscious. Suddenly my body jerks to a sitting position and I let out a scared yell as though I had a nightmare. My heart pounding, my body covered in sweat…I was dying. I don’t know how I knew I was dying but it’s as though you can feel your mortal coil slipping away. Terror…sheer terror!

“I cannot die, I don’t want to die. What is wrong with me? I at least need for my wife to wake up, so she knows that there is something wrong. Honey, honey…wake up!”

This was the first night it had gotten out of control. The first of many. On that night, I actually got My Wife to believe that something was wrong, that I needed her, and that I was not crazy. But after countless nights for a period of sixth months I couldn’t blame her for being hardened to it. The seriousness of the matter never changed for me but to her I just became the over-reactive weirdo that insisted on waking her up every night to tell her that I was dying. I am sure she had fleeting thoughts of ‘who have I married?’ at times. I was certainly not the normal Edge. But who was the normal Edge and how do I get him back? It would be a long time finding out the answer.

Sparing you many details for now, God released me from this prison and taught me many lessons…the biggest of which was humility. I was raised with a can-do attitude and had the inflated confidence to go with it. There is nothing wrong with a healthy self esteem but failing to realize your dependence on God is essentially asking to be taught a similar lesson. Another realization came to me through these episodes as well. Depression and Anxiety were not just made up medical terms to explain away people’s behavior and lack of control over their lives. I was very judgmental about these kinds of conditions and people. What I failed to realize was the gripping reality of such illness. It really does affect your mind, body, and spiritual self. Physically, your brains chemicals are off kilter and various illnesses can manifest. Mentally you become very paranoid, scared, and out of touch with reality. Spiritually, desperation and pleading takes over. It was not uncommon to fall prostrate on the floor begging God to help me and give me rest.

He answered my call but not immediately. I will likely continue to glean various reasons for His allowance of this attack of me through the years. I will likely have more attacks occur in different forms. I am a fallen being and if I get my just deserve, will perish miserable, alone, and without hope. Thanks be to God for his saving grace, His Son’s sacrifice, and free gift of salvation. Without Him, I would continue to be…well, nothing.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Day to Day

Yesterday

I woke up at the crack of dark grumbling to myself that it’s just wrong to be up before the sun. Having showered the previous night and hitting snooze one too many times, I did my hurried version of getting ready. A quick brush of the teeth and hair (now getting long enough to be in my eyes), some deodorant, and a splash of cologne and I was about ready. I threw on my workout clothes, grabbed my bag for changing later, and a pop tart. Not wanting to wake the rest of the house, I gently closed the front door and slowly turned the key in the lock to re-seal the fortress. The cutlass revved up better than normal this morning probably because it was warmer out than previous days. Before I had truly woken up, coach had us divided into running groups and we were on our 3rd mile of 9. Cross country training is intense no matter where you go. But under coach T at Marcus High School it is 10 times more difficult than the normal program. Maybe that is why we sweep District every year and travel to Region and State. I personally hate running but I am good at it. Coach recruited me from the soccer team my Junior year and this allows me to engage in two sports since their seasons do not overlap.

Five miles later I could see the school in the distance and tried not to think about the afternoon workout ahead. Two-a-days is what they are called. I call it pure torture and a waste of an 18 year olds precious after-school time. What really sucks is mom makes me hit the books the moment I enter the door. So I essentially wake up, go run, go to six classes in a half asleep state, run again, then join my family around 7 or 7:30PM only to be forced to immediately do homework. Hardly seems fair and this leads me and mom to do some major arguing. “ I am a good student for goodness sake.” I would say God instead of goodness but mom would likely slap the back of my head. “I get my work done, so let me wind down a bit when I first get home. And if I do slip in a class that is my decision and consequence for laziness.” This logic falls on deaf ears most times and so I close my door and go through my own little ritual. A little TV with the head phones on, a call to my new girlfriend, maybe a small nap…and then the backpack opens up and the bare minimum gets done. I am lucky to re-emerge from my room with any time to sit on the couch with my folks and watch the end of Cheers and catch some Carson.

Oh well…off to bed, or at least that is what I’ll make them think. More TV with the headphones on is an order. Sure I will be dog tired and have to repeat this whole routine tomorrow but I’ll worry about that then.


Today

Once again I wake up before the sun. I sit at the edge of my bed with a confused disposition. Something is different. I am in a different room than normal for one but I feel really out of place. I grumble to myself at how sore I am and then I hear it. A voice from the other side of my bed.

“Of course you're sore honey, you and Kurt did some pretty intense routes yesterday.”

“Huh…what are you talking about?”

“Well you said they were hard anyway. What do I know about cycling?”

Oh, yeah…right.”

Somehow I know this person and my confused nature is put on hold while I do more investigating. There is that noise again…the same one that woke me up. Before I realize what I am doing, I am down the hall and in a nursery of sorts with TWO cribs. I find the irritated one and have her in my arms gently rocking back and forth whispering “Shhhh, it’s ok” into her ear. Closing the door behind me to allow my son to continue sleeping, I take my daughter into my room and lay her next to me for a ten minute nap.

I wonder to myself if this family of mine knows that just yesterday I was in high school.

I wonder if they realize that I am still a kid myself. If they find out are they going to be as scared about it as me?

The only reason I do not completely freak out about all of this is that someone managed to insert all of the memories from yesterday to today that cause all of this to make some sense . But it was just yesterday that I was fighting with mom and stealing some TV time well passed bedtime. Wasn't it?

I guess I will keep it a secret. What good would it do to admit my immaturity, my inadequacies, or my fears? I have to keep this family protected, sheltered, fed, and so much more.

Does the teenager at the shopping mall not realize that I was in their shoes a few minutes ago? They sure look at me like I’m “out of touch”. Half the time the grocery checker doesn’t even check my I.D. for that bottle of red wine. Then again, I hate having to dig it out of my wallet.

What’s happened? Who orchestrated this elaborate joke? Am I supposed to keep smiling and pretending that this didn't occur?

All I know is that time slipped away and I must have passed through a hole of some sort. At the rate I am experiencing things…I have days to live.

Better make the best of them.

Friday, May 12, 2006

The Sky is Falling

Remember Chicken Little? He was the annoying bird that ran all through the barn warning animals that the sky was falling. His evidence…something had fallen and hit him in the head…must be the sky. I cannot help but feel that way in general about our media. More specifically I get the most irritated about the newest virus’, illnesses, and pandemic stories. The word pandemic irks me. I realize that our global community calls for larger scales of measure but what is wrong with epidemic?

First let me say that I do not want to belittle any particular illness, disease, or threat. None of the items I list are funny or completely absurd. But the real epidemic is fear. Fear is sold by the media like sex, drugs, murder, and scandal. And we, the consumer-minded public buy it like it’s in short supply and necessary for survival. I realize that it is logical and smart to be prepared. But I have known people that own Fallout Shelters for that big Armageddon event since the mid 70’s. Where is this event? Did we miss it? And if it happens and you manage to get in your shelter in time and then manage to stay there until all radiation has cleared the atmosphere, and emerge from your nest…what then? You will likely be the only person or family left on the planet…a modern day Noah charged with the duty of re-populating the world. Well…I guess that might be fun.

I am sure you can point out more examples than are listed here but let me give you an idea of how accurate these reports have been in the past:

  • Nuclear Destruction (Cold War) – If you were born early enough to remember the 50's, 60's, 70's, or 80’s then you know something about the Cold War. It was actually pretty scary but also a world-wide balance of power that no longer seems to exist. We (USA) were a super-power and so was the USSR. We had nukes. They had nukes. They hated and spied on us. We hated and spied on them. It was global tension that had media constantly warning us of devastating destruction. Could it have happened? Maybe. Did it? No. In fact the USSR no longer exists and when the Berlin Wall fell, so did the Communist regime of that region. It also revealed an impoverished Nation in horrible conditions. We were left thinking… “that is who we’ve been afraid of all this time?” It was like Toto from the Wizard of Oz pulling back the curtain of reality. Now we are faced with this threat yet again but with a different set of potential enemies. I will hold off for now on stockpiling foodstuffs but you go right ahead.
  • AIDS – Ok, let me preface this so I don’t get anybody in a huff. This disease is by far the most devastating of threats and is to be taken very seriously. By listing it, I do not wish to belittle its existence, effects, or the millions who suffer from it. The only reason I point it out is to illustrate the reports vs. the reality. Initially this disease was supposed to be the End of the World killer. It was spread quickly and mysteriously. It was something to hide from, something to fear, and something to prepare for. What happened? We researched it, educated ourselves, and after squelching the many lies (like this was God’s punishment of homosexuals and only homosexuals can get the disease) we began dealing with it’s true reality and started taking appropriate steps to prevent and fight.
  • Mad Cow – This one pops up every now and then. Inevitably a cow shows signs of the disease and has to be put down. The media then speculates that we likely have samples of infected meat circulating the shelves and need to be forewarned. Kentucky Fried Chicken then sees a spike in their profits for two months and its forgotten.
  • Y2K – So despite my first statement about not wanting to belittle any threat or nothing on this list being funny, I present you the one exception. The Y2K threat was hard to pinpoint as any one problem. Presumably this was going to shut down the world. It was going to trash every computer in every company and government agency. The result of this craziness would mean no food, no water, no utilities, no financial structure, etc., etc. In reality the computer companies sold record amounts of systems that were Y2K compatible and nothing happened. I mean nothing as in nothing happened to the new computers OR the old ones. I know this because I was a restaurant manager that worked for a very cheap owner who refused to get updated hardware or software. And when the dreaded day arrived…systems all go. This scare is one of the largest and most successful marketing ploys ever devised. If it were possible, I would love to see the Y3K hooplah. Too bad I will be long gone by then.
  • Anthrax – Post 911 we had several politicians and people of interest receiving white powder in the mail. Most of these were examined and determined to be fake but several were actual anthrax powder. Media outlets took this small fraction of events and globalized it to proportions that had you, the average Joe, wearing a space suit when going out to the mailbox. All military and government personnel scrambled for shots (which by the way contained anthrax and killed more people than the mailed version) to immunize themselves. The next time white powder shows up in your mailbox, consider calling the narcotics division before running for a gasmask.
  • Terrorism Preparations – One of my favorite news stories showed a reporter teaching us how to duct tape the frames of windows and doorways to prepare for fallout or potential chemical warfare. Duct tape? Hey, I am like any guy and swear by the stuff. But if that is my protection against annihilation, I really am scared. This is the Nuclear threat repackaged and presented to you in more modern terms. Instead of running to purchase fallout shelters, just tape your home up. It will work…I swear (wink, wink).
  • West Nile – Deadly mosquitos with radar systems built into their antennae are after you. They have been injected with a deadly virus and programmed to invade backyard picknics and reek havoc. That is quite an overstatement but not too far from the truth. From what I researched, a handful of people got this and survived…though it was no fun I’m sure. The only death counts made public was the occasional bird but more on them later.
  • SARS – As soon as I catch my breath and get this medical mask off my face, I will tell you all about it. Sorry, I just recently went to China and have been out of breath ever since. I am not sure what I have but it is probably contagious and easily spread through internet connections. So run out and get checked out by a doctor now…no really, now.
  • Avian Flu – This was that actual reason for this post. The “Bird Flu” as it is commonly called is making all sorts of headlines. It is the Pandemic waiting to happen. Forgive me for saying "Bah Humbug" but I present to you the evidence above. Let me put you at ease. When it is your time, it is your time. Your efforts to prolong life are only possible with some serious discussions with the Lord above, not quarantine, not duct tape, not flu vaccination, and not underground shelters. Fear this new headline if you wish. I for one, will continue living today just like I did the day before. The media has cried wolf one to many times for me to even bat my eyes at this one. Maybe this is just an effort to even out the playing field for MacDonald’s since that KFC spike when Mad Cow hit the papers. Cows are bad…no, no wait…birds (Chicken included) are bad…no, no wait.

    Can we please focus on a fuel solution so I can quit paying $3+ for a gallon of gas??

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Comment Already!


I am going to tell you a secret that is true of all bloggers (well, most of them). We want an audience. Shocking, I know. At first this audience is imagined but then we get smart and install a site meter to monitor the traffic. And while a good number of registered hits are from our own visits, we pretend that every hit is a huge fan. We want our opinions to count, our writing to astound, and our intellect to amaze. All we ask in return is some feedback now and then…is that so hard?

Before I go into full tilt today, let me give a pass to those of you that have actually taken a moment to say hi or offer a fresh perspective. I am definitely getting more feedback than in the beginning but something bothers me. My site meter shows me who comes here (to some extent), when they come, how long they stay, and how many pages they read. There are tons of you that read and read faithfully (thanks for that). But commentary lacks a bit and I am left to think horrible thoughts about myself…none of which could possibly be true.

Here are some suggested comments you can make:

________________________________________________________________________
Edge,

You are perhaps the best writer I have ever read on the net. Your material is so compelling that it takes several visits to soak it all in. If only my intellect matched yours, I might be able to cure Cancer.

________________________________________________________________________
OR
________________________________________________________________________
Edge,

Today’s post truly moved me. I am in such a tearful state right now that the computer screen is blurry from trying to see through the gushing. I wish there were more thoughtful and provacative thinkers out there like you. It would make this world a wonderful place to live in.
________________________________________________________________________
OR
________________________________________________________________________
Edge,

Wassup Dog? Yo, I be chillin on the net today and blam, I found your bumpin site. It be da bomb man and I juss wanted to holler atcha and give props. Keep it real homes.

Peace.

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Now you may be wondering about negative commentary and my stance on that. Well, while I do have the power to ‘Publish’ or ‘Not Publish’ your comments, I make it pretty standard practice to allow any opinions that are expressed. The ONLY comment I kept from publishing mentioned something about bestiality the other day and I just didn’t get the joke. I must give fair warning though…comments that disagree with my positions, stances, and opinions are wrong. So if you want to run the risk of humiliating yourself by disagreeing with TheEdge, that is your prerogative. Most times, I won’t even have to comment back to you. The embarrassment of having something attached to you and published on my site when you are clearly wrong is likely punishment enough.

So Mr. Texas Instruments in Dallas, give me a howdy…

Mrs. Chicago, Illinois, give me the low down

Mr. Washington DC…how’s the Hill?

Ms. Viginia Beach…how is the weather in them parts?

Magnolia, Texas…whatcha thinking?

House of Represenatives…wow, why are you reading my stuff? Am I in trouble with the government? Am I being monitored for suspicious activities? I know nothing, I swear.

Speaking of government, someone else has a .gov address but lives in Illinois. Is that a satellite branch of the CIA? How did you find me? Crap, my cover is blown. Code Delta!!!

Once I come out of hiding, I am going to check to see if you commented. I better not have this continued lurker lack of respect or I will have to…um…um stop writing for a few days. Hah! That will teach you!