Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Zombies and Unicorns

There are a multitude of reasons for a Christian to know everything there is to know about their faith. One obvious reason might be that a person should know and truly understand what they believe before just “blindly” labeling themselves. But for the purposes of this rant…I am going to address this very Scriptural reason:

1 Peter 3:15-16 (New International Version)
15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,

This verse is one that I often reflect upon when describing my desire and calling to engage in amateur apologetics on the internet. I have no shortage of Christian critics and atheists that will question, challenge, and demand me to defend what they deem to be silly (at best) or even dangerous & harmful (at worst). There is no effort to be subtle about the fact that most of these people believe our planet would be much better off without Christians on it. They believe us to be deluded, crazy, weak, brainwashed, indoctrinated, cultic, and a menace to society’s ability to move forward. After all we have the moral doctrines that have been holding back the advancement of humankind now for centuries…right?

When I first began this pursuit, I made a mistake. I assumed that I had a very comprehensive knowledge of my beliefs, my Bible, and that these critics were just uninformed. They were just following the P.C. hype being sold through our multi-media lives and had never taken any actual time to investigate Christianity. I made this assumption mostly based on my own experience and discovery of Christ…not because of any desire to prejudge or stereotype an entire group of people. And while my conclusions do indeed find people that match the criteria, more often than not, the majority of the people I deal with end up being much different. In fact, many critics not only know everything that you know but they end up knowing more than you.

So the obvious and looming question at this point is: How would you ever expect to present a case for belief in Christ if the person you are talking to knows more about your own faith than you? I am not deeming it impossible mind you. Some of the best apologetics have nothing to do with facts and scholarly information so much as they deal with the heart and the human condition. However, most hard-core critics reject any initial appeal to emotion and subjective witnessing until or unless you convince them that this door is worth opening to you from a logical stand-point.

Let me just give you two examples of things that caught me by surprise.
1. Unicorns
2. Zombies

It’s an unspoken rule of the Christian critic to label God, Christ, and our beliefs with what they deem to be similar monikers but laced with insult. For instance, they often call God the Invisible Sky Daddy or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or the Pink Unicorn. To them God is every bit as mythological and worthy of belief as any of these fairytale alternatives. In one such discussion I called one critic out telling him how absurd the name-calling was and to “get real” with his objections. His reply?

“Well there are unicorns in The Bible!”

I knew this guy well enough by this time to determine two things: (1) That he knew his stuff and would never make such a claim unless he had some type of backup and (2) not to let on that I was completely shocked by his statement having no clue what he was talking about. Well what was he talking about?

In the King James Version it just so happens that nine different verses of Scripture refer to something called a “unicorn”. (Numbers 23:22, Numbers 24:8, Deuteronomy 33:17, Job 39:9, Job 39:10, Psalm 22:21, Psalm 29:6, Psalm 92:10, and Isaiah 34:7). Now before you conclude that the King James translation must be in error, I might point you here. While it helped me to read the explanation that this animal was more likely a one horned Rhino, the experience left its mark on me. I ate some humble pie for having learned a lesson from someone outside the faith.

That leads me to the Zombies. A completely different person kept referring to all the zombies in Scripture. At first I thought he was pulling the classic insult of Christ’s resurrection story by equating Him with our Sci-Fi modern-day view of a zombie. However he kept making this assertion in a plural form as if there were many of these creatures. I decided to ask him what specific story he was referring to, careful yet again not to let on that I had no idea. He pointed me to the following:

Matthew 27:50-54 (New International Version)
50And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.
51At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. 52The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people. 54When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, "Surely he was the Son[a] of God!"

Granted…this time the word “zombies” was not actually used in Scripture. However, this guy had managed to point me to a part of the resurrection story that I had either read dismissively or failed to see at all.

Why do I bring any of this up? Well, whether you feel called to apologetics or not, I believe every Christian has a duty to know their Scriptures, their doctrines, and their faith’s claims. I don’t think any of us ever get to a point where we stop learning completely. But I do think the average believer has a long way to go in equipping themselves with Godly knowledge. But that’s just my opinion.

Take this brief quiz and see how you do. No google or biblegateway cheating allowed!

1. Who were the Nephilim?
2. Does Scripture ever mention Satan being in the Garden of Eden?
3. Did Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, and Solomon practice monogamy or polygamy?
4. Did Jesus have any brothers and sisters?
5. What Biblical character owned Mr. Ed’s ancestor?
6. Did Adam and Eve eat an apple?
7. Were there rainbows before the flood?
8. How old did Noah live to be?
9. Why were James and John known as the “sons of thunder”?

And finally a bonus question: Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons? Since I don’t know for sure, I will give ten points to the most creative answer!

Quiz answers are in the comment section.

7 comments:

TheEdge said...

1. The short answer is this: they were the offspring of the unions between "sons of God" and daughters of men. For more details go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephilim

2. No. It mentions the serpent only. Our Christian narrative assumes that this is satan and its definitly a safe assumption. However, you will not find the name Satan in Eden.

3. Polygomy...as in...multiple wives.

4. Yes. While Christ was born of Mary first and with the Immaculate Conception from God....she and Joseph went on to have more children. The author of James is often thought to be one of Jesus' brothers.

5. Balaam

6. No. They did consume a fruit of some kind but it never says or indicates it to be an apple. Artists often insert an apple when dipicting the Garden scene which leads many to mistakenly believe it to be the fruit in question.

7. No. Rainbows are the symbol of God's post flood promise to us.

8. 950 years

9. The answer is still up for some debate but many suspect that this nickname had much to do with the brothers propensity for being quick tempered and possibly even making a habit of cussing.

Anonymous said...

hey edge!
for a little more trivia...
what was noah's wifes name?


JF tiff

TheEdge said...

Her name is Naamah according to Jewish tradition but her name is never found in Scripture. The only reference to her at all is in Genesis 7:7.

Anonymous said...

G&P Edge,

Great post and reminder that truly we do need to study God's word to be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks.

I would only add that sometimes the answer is: "I don't know."

I believe through my life and what I've seen through the lives of other believers is our unwillingness to let go of pride and just say I don't know. For fear that somehow we would look bad or stupid.

He is the shepherd, I am the sheep. He is God, I am not. He is the creator, I am the created. His ways are not my ways.

Anyways-just some random tangents this evening. Have a blessed night.

In His Grip,
Billy-B

TheEdge said...

I need to remember that "I don't know" is a decent answer sometimes. I just hesistate to make that my answer on Youtube at times because many of these critics is just waiting for a chance to rip you apart. But since it is Christ that does all the work anyway...what am I afraid of? Thanks for the advice.

Mr. T said...

Just wanted to say great article bro - I love the new design! You did not include your answer to the bonus question, so here's mine... No, they didn't have belly buttons because they were never fed by an umbilical chord - not very creative - but just my thought

Anonymous said...

There is so much that all of us don't know that is there in the bible. Amazing