Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Convicted


That word has a fairly negative connotation. And perhaps it’s fitting that it does since most of us do not want to be accused or found guilty of misdoing. But that is exactly what has happened to me recently and I believe God Himself is the one that convicted my heart. All truth be told, there are several personal items that He has revealed to me for correction but I want to share one with you now.

On the way home a few days ago, I had the imagery of my nightly routine flashing through my mind. There I was in the middle of my twins and wife as they went on with their routines. There was much love in the room and I was never made to feel that I lacked the care or concern necessary for being a good daddy. However, I noticed something for the first time. I was constantly looking at my blackberry, checking for emails, burying my head in a book, or watching TV whilst my twins played around me…not with me.

Up until this daydream revelation, I had always considered my time at home to be productive and well utilized. I considered that being in the same room with the kids to be somehow equivalent to actually engaging them on a personal level. I quickly felt…convicted. And while it did carry some negative feelings with it, I was mostly relieved to have identified a problem that could now be worked on. Most of us don’t willfully sit by observing big problems in our lives without any desire to address them. We instead get our heads buried in the sand and most often go without noticing anything is awry.

The last two nights have been wonderful. Upon entering my home from my commute home I have greeted my wife and kids, put my phone aside, and actively engaged my family. We’ve played hide & seek, pick-up sticks, made paper balloons, awarded stickers, and even driven around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. Instead of the twins making up their own fun and playing in my vicinity, I have been leading the charge and becoming the actively involved daddy! It comes pretty natural to me since I am such a kid at heart anyway. My only regret in all of this was not discovering the problem sooner. Don’t get me wrong, I have not spent the entirety of the last three years disengaged or uninterested. But I have let too much of that time go to waste. No more!

I can’t wait for another round of hide & seek tonight!


Post Script:
1. A friend sent me this video and in part…this inspired much of what I am working on right now with God and my family.

2. For more "daddy fun" consider reading
this older post of mine. It’s fictional but one of my favorite pieces. Enjoy!