I had to ask myself if the name of this blog was just a clever title or a reality this morning. Why? Because this is one of those days and one of those moods that isn't pretty. The tidy bow we try to live out as Christians sometimes gets untied. Heck the bow gets ripped off and the wrapping paper crumpled up and thrown in the corner.
If I am going to Live Out Loud then the inclination to avoid writing or confessing my failures needs to be challenged and defeated. No one thing has knocked me down and put me in this place. Its a combination of factors:
- Job stress due to being understaffed and financially strained
- Illness ravaged both personally and with close family
- The stress of worrying about my ill loved ones
- Failures with my attitude toward the kids
- Failures with my attitude toward my wife
- Bickering with my loved ones
- Two court issues, one jury duty summons and one for a ticket I am fighting - both ironically on the SAME DAY!
- Not getting much needed time off and long breaks
I could go on. By what purpose would that serve? There is nothing life threatening or so horrid on my lists that I've lost sight of just how blessed I am. There is nothing on my lists that you or others aren't also suffering and then some. It would only be an exercise in self pity which is just an even uglier form of pride. I suppose the ONLY reason I've elected to share these items with you is to fulfill the entire purpose of my online presence. To present to you a man (and the family surrounding him) that lives out his faith in good times and in bad. And perhaps take it one step further by openly confessing to not yet have the kind of maturity it takes to live out James 1:2-3.