Monday, June 25, 2012

Disgust & Motivation

I won't say I've happily carried an extra twenty pounds around for the last decade.  But I can say that I've not let it bother me enough to do anything about it.  I first started putting on weight in my twenties.  Having been 6'1" and a high school runner and soccer player...I needed to gain a few.  I weighed 145 my sophomore year before getting on the Cross Country team.  By my senior year I was 125 pounds with 2% body fat.

While I see no need to ever return to such an extreme number, I would be extraordinarily happy with weighing 180 at this point.  As it stands I fluctuate between 195 and 200.  It was a slow climb to get here and for the most part I've topped out.  Being that I don't do anything different I just seem to maintain and therefore sit idly by hoping to wake up and see a different result in the mirror.  I know this won't work, but a small, boyish part of me that still embraces the faciful, occassionally still wishes it were so and thinks it could happen.

But where I am finding myself (at least in this moment) is a place I need to be in order for true change to officially begin.  My disgust for the image in the mirror is turning into motivation.  And I think that is the key for any of us with out-of-shape bodies.  We all have a different threshold as to what we can tolerate or justify away.  But there is a point where action becomes the more desirable practice over continued inactivity and calorie-consuming gluttony. 

I think I am going to make some changes.  How about you?