Monday, January 28, 2013

Just another day...

Today is just another day.  That is how I think of most birthdays after twenty-one. And its how I feel about this one for the most part. Except I do find myself being more reflective than usual. In fact the older I get, the more I tend to do this and I suppose its a natural thing.  We look back and evaluate times past.  The good the bad.  How it shaped who we are now.  What, if anything, it may tell us about our future.

I am thirty-eight today which in and of itself is not a significant number.  But two major realities are hitting me as I let this reflective process take root.  (1) Forty is a very real number to me now.  That used to be the age of my parents and they were OLD.  It's one of those numbers you don't think you'll reach.  Not because you morbidly assume an early death but because it will just take an eternity to get there.  Forty seems to be a number where you can no longer continue to convince yourself of how youthful you are.  (2) I am twenty years removed from high school.  I think that is more astounding than being so close to forty. Sometime this year I will be attending a reunion with many people that I haven't seen since we were eighteen.

I won't be cliche and say that twenty years passed in the blink of an eye.  But it did move quite a bit faster than expected.  The tragic thing about aging is that you mentally don't feel any different.  Perhaps physical signs exist to prove a few years have passed but inside you're still this kid.  In fact my biggest parenting challenge is keeping that a secret from my children.  That I am just a kid, not much more mature than they are.  I think God knows how scary that fact might be to them, so He put little touches of gray in my hair, so they think I know what I am doing! But one day they too will find out and my cover will be blown.  But by then, they will be parents and my "touches" of gray will be more like "touches" of brown with mostly gray.  Or perhaps it will just be "touches" of hair period?

Here's to another thirty eight years!


Kanbei85 said...