Monday, April 15, 2013

Inward Focus

This weekend was not a good one for my family.  Sparring the details I had a cousin in her mid twenties hospitalized initially in critical condition.  I learned of this incident right before coaching my two soccer games.  I did spend a great deal of time thinking about her, praying for her, and asking others to pray as well.  But it wasn't long before the details of my little bubble began blurring my outward vision.  Instead I began focusing inward and selfishly letting details like a broken garage door, pets having potty accidents in my house, replacing a dishwasher, and losing the aforementioned soccer games bog me down.

How selfish can I be?  How self absorbed and concerned are we when home repairs and animal urine get us off track while a more serious matter is worth our attention?  Granted the series of events that happened to us this weekend at any other time would be worth some aggravation and I am sparring  you quite a few details.  It was odd how one thing would pop up, only for another, and another, and another.  But through it all, I had to keep reminding myself how silly these things were compared to my cousins situation.  I had to snap myself back into reality and prioritize my emotional responses correctly.

While its sad and disappointing to be confronted with my own selfish nature, I am glad that God has at least made it such that I feel convicted of this.  The only thing worse than being self absorbed is being self absorbed and naive to your own wretchedness.  Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.  That song practically narrates my life.